Fresh start, Jol feels more stable now... funny what a free Christmas lunch at work and conversation can do! Going to see my first Old-Time show tomorrow, can't wait. What will NC throw at me next! A Snowstorm so I can setup a juice box in the backyard!!!!! Eating better now, and wow what a difference it can make.

Yo, I am so into the zone right now (at least I try to tell myself that). Wish I could share that zone with someone this time of the year, but this is how it is supposed to be I guess. Let Go and Let God... I have to keep telling myself that... I am much more sad than I thought at times, but I keep going out and meeting more friends. Yesterday, for lunch I took the Bus downtown again and met the coolest bartender. I know they are bartenders, but we talked for like 2 hours. I was not totally wasted, just had 3 beers and pizza, so it was nice to talk about things. Froze my ass off on the walk back to the depot... ahhhh.. the depot. Where it all began. Yea, that too, can't get these little memories out of my head, but they are nice to remember the times when I was the happiest.
Last week, out at Edge of the World, I decided to join the Snowboard Cross events at Beech Mtn this year. It starts in Mid Jan and is 5 different Sundays. I can't wait, to meet some new people, and compete. I love speed, and this is what snowboard cross is. A small goal I am setting out for, instead of just going through the motions.
Got a huge bonus at work this year, almost shit myself.. It came out of nowhere just like all things in life. Good and bad things happen when you least expect it! I have noticed that a lot lately. All part of being calm and patient, which is quite hard for me at times.. as far as the bonus, I am going to put it in my school fund for the summer. I think that will be a good transition for me once the winter is over. Starting in summer will be nice as well, not as hectic. Dammit... the frickin saddest love songs always come on!!!! come on now... ahh, its good to be human, good to feel, good to be loved, good to be lost...Life is so interesting. Enjoy it while I have it! My resilience will prevail!
Peace

I can see clearly now the SNOW has come! Was blessed with great friends to be so kind to me lately! Going to see the lights downtown and the Tree lighting tomorrow at the festival of lights! Cant wait

Bag lunches...
Bus rides...
Walking...
Every little bit helps the world
Every little bit helps Jol..
Save
Pay off debt
Save the Planet!

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world,
‘Cause you don’t love me any more?

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world.
It ended when I lost your love.

I wake up in the morning and I wonder,
Why everything’s the same as it was.
I can’t understand. No, I can’t understand,
How life goes on the way it does.

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world.
It ended when you said goodbye.

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world.
It ended when you said goodbye.

—Skeeter Davis

A special someone used to sing this to me.. I can’t get this out of my head. I want to tell her how much I love her still, but not sure she will understand. I tried to forget but cannot let true love pass me by. I hope she feels the same someday….